ROUND 30: Comics For September 21, 2011

Hey DC Versus Marvelers, It is Luke - your friendly neighborhood broke ass college grad. In the past two weeks I had a convention, I graduated and I moved home to sort of recoup. This means that for now (and probably a while longer I am not getting comics and if anything I am going to switch to trades to save money since spending $20-40 a week was expensive). But due to my journalistic integrity which means I journal holistically and it is integral and gritty, reviews for a while are going to be based on what I am pretty sure the comic is about based on the cover and since I know the Marvel Universe too well, I'll stick to the fully rebooted new DCU. Since I read comic news and had stories already spoiled (thanks Comics Alliance) I will start with this week. No Money For Comics NuDC Speculative Reviews

Batman #1 When Batman gets a court fine and is sentenced to community service, Batman finds out he has to man a free hugs station set up as a prank by his college friend Harvey Dent, the district attorney. Unsurprisingly the Knight of Gotham isn't too happy especially when he is sent to a jail full of inmates that he has to cuddle instead of cudgel. Oh man I love the fact that they are making Batman funny again and after the success of Brave and the Bold it isn't hard to see why. Batman is a serious character but if you put him in a situation where he has to stand on the streets in his costume with a "Free Hugs" sign, you really succeed in making a new direction for the series. Also it is an interesting choice that there is no longer any Bruce Wayne and that people know Bruce became Batman. Risky move DC but it should be interesting. As far as relaunches go, this works solidly! Score: +1

Birds Of Prey #1 When four sassy women with super agility and powers move from the rich Manhattan to the jungle, you can be sure to dial H for Hilarity... - or you should be able to. In this comic, the Birds of Prey (named because they were "too flighty to be called cougars") are sent to another country to help the poor only to rely on stock cliches, porno shots and probably the most degradingly sexist writing that I have ever laid my eyes on (if I actually read it). When the group tries to chase down a international terrorist leader who just blew up a nail salon, they literally stop chasing when they get distracted by his ass and it's "assnifigance". I literally threw this imaginary comic on the ground, ripped it up and then demanded my money back when I read it. Susan B Anthony must be rolling in her grave. As far as relaunches go, this one needs to be sent to the moon. Score: -1

Blue Beetle #1 Jaime Reyes isn't an ordinary teenager. He's an ordinary teenager that is also friends with a part alien cyborg hybrid. Now with his partner the Blue Beetle Scarab, a 1000 year old Egyptian alien, the two must pilot through high school. Will Jaime be able to ask out the girl he likes? Will the tap dance club get destroyed by the villainous Mr. Jones? And what happens when the school is stolen by the evil villain Scrapyard who wishes to turn trash… into terror? The relationship between Jaime as the overly excited and outgoing nerdy kid and Blue as the sort of shy jock is a nice twist for the high school drama cliche though the female characters and other supporting cast seem rather vapid and totally ignore the fact that Blue is a superhero and also really old. Like they call him a diety from space and still 16 year olds want to get on that. It just bothers me as does the fluorescent overalls and tank tops that every character at the school wears. The artists need to see what "real kids" wear and by real kids I mean kids in hit tv shows like Glee, Teenage Knocked Up Girl and High School Rap/Dance Team. As far as a relaunch goes, I like the idea, I liked Scrapyard and I want to see where this goes. Score: +1

Captain Atom #1 Captain Atom used to be a normal human until the Eye of Thunder-la came down granting him omnipotence and omniscience. Now trapped with the ability to do anything, Captain Atom must now do whatever he can to stave off boredom as a god! I liked the condensed origin but the rest of the issue was rather ungh... Basically the Captain Atom just goes and pulls pranks, sleeps with women as a talking goose and then flies around. It's like the Spectre written as a parody comic. Also is this dude like Doc Manhattan and the Silver Surfer had sex with fire or something? Alternately with Fire? As a relaunch I don't know. I really don't. Score: +0

Catwoman #1 Selina Kyle has a good life. She's popular at school. She sleeps with all of the hot guys. She knows where the best parties are. Things change though when her best friend's cousin Jim The Human Diamond comes to town. Selina soon finds herself trying to get his attention but is this for some quick sex or for something different? I am honestly lost since this is like Batman but in high school but it is a preppy school. I did like how Jim is an actual diamond but they really underutilized that character attribute since he doesn't have much of a personality for such a theoretically deep character. My other complaint is that despite this being a preppy school with required uniforms, Selina apparently and unsuspiciously keeps a cat burglar suit around for sneaking into places? I mean, wouldn't the nuns find out? Ultimately this is just a horrible mess of an issue and I'd rather not fake read more of it. For reboots it is a nice trope twist and I think this may tie in more with Blue Beetle than with Batman but on my list of things I want to see, sex with a guy who jizzes diamonds is not high on the list. Score: -1

DC Universe Prevents #1: Deadman Deadman is the only hero ever to interact with the dead. We suddenly find out that he has a weakness though that nobody saw coming - Chains! Now James Deadman must convince his old business partner to not foreclose on the Cratchet House so close to Christmas or Alvan Scrooge will be eternally tortured in the Pits of Tartarus. I like Deadman and the Chains of Penance are a nice hearken back to the original Dickens run in the 70's on the character and even updating the Cratchet family and setting it in modern times is cool though it shows a wildly misunderstood view of the housing market. As far as the story the trope swap of focusing on the ghost possessing people to talk to Scrooge and doing a Christmas issue in September was genius. I will confess I was surprised to not see Deadman's famous guns or mustache though. Combined with the tight writing, DC Universe Presents gets my Pick Of The Week. If you want to see how a reboot should be done, this is it. Score: +2

Green Lantern Corpse #1 Someone killed the Green Lantern Corps. Who did it? Why? And what will happen to the bodies left to float in space? Who will save them from the dreaded gravitation of Planet X, only time will tell. It was just bodies for 22 pages slowly floating closer to a planet with teeth and a "wacky accent". It's like taking opium and watching 2001: A Space Odessy but slower. I mean it was just monologue and that was poorly written. The series canonically confusing and as far as reboots go, this is painfully stupid. Score: -1

Legion of Superheroes #1 Trapped inside the Great White Beast of Kalkinoth, Megaman Orange, Jem Starfire, Pink Greenbird and Commando must save their planet from the Beast. 50 years of back continuity and even making this up I had no idea what was going on. Horrible introduction. Convoluted, ugh. Score: -1

Nightwing #1 Can Dick Grayson learn to fly before he falls to the streets of Gotham? Dick Grayson, former Batman, has his costume stripped by Bruce Wayne and is suddenly pushed off a building with 30 seconds to live until he hits rock bottom. Now with his bare minimum tools and the annual Gotham City Running of the Bats, will Dick be able to save himself? Beautifully told and representative of the somewhat unwelcome return to Bruce Wayne as Batman status quo. Also flashing back to Dick's circus days was a great idea. Solid as both a classic issue and as a reboot story. Score: +1

Red Hood And The Outlaws #1 Red Hood, Hat Arrow and Starfire run into trouble at the local NRA meeting when Red Hood decides he doesn't want to wait for a background check. Meanwhile Hat Arrow and Starfire discuss the dual opinions of gun ownership. I am a pretty anti-gun dude but the discussion between Hat Arrow and Starfire made me see the other side and tossing in Red Hood who just wanted to get his gun and replica Trigun weapons was highly entertaining, especially when Red Hood essentially became Deadpool with a coat and different costume. That said the whole post action scene with Red Hood talking to his guns was disturbing. Overall though, solid, thought provoking and totally not about Starfire having random sex. As a reboot issue it establishes the characters amazingly well. Score: +2

Supergirl #1 Born of a meteor shower, the Supergirl now leads an invasion of the rock people against the planet known as … Oa?!? So I am surprised by the switch to not having Supergirl as Kryptonian, on Earth or even as a hero and she is attacking Oa. I mean it is one thing to change one part of her origin but making her a sentient rock alien commander - that is ballsy and the type of change you need to watch out for. Supergirl doesn't even say anything but her expressions say so much and tell so many stories. And I just realized, maybe she killed the Green Lanterns?!?!? Check this out. Awesome reboot! Score: +2

Wonder Woman #1 When Wonder Woman stands up Green Arrow because she was busy saving the city, Green Arrow calls it quits, Bluebeard style. Will Wonder Woman and her pants be able to weather the phallic arrow assault? Oh man, nice use of backstory, I like Wonder Woman being portrayed as a bloodthirsty maniac pixie girl as well. I didn't read Green Arrow but since this was a flashback I am pretty sure he survived or something. Overall the battle and banter were okay but the comic seemed more like a 20 pager instead of a 22 pager. Introduction wise it was solid. Score: +1 Score: +7 Total Come back next week when I don't read anything off the shelves!